


I need you now, but I don't know you yet

by starrynyu



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Boys Kissing, Fluff, Getting Together, Homophobia, Just a little tho, M/M, Roommates, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sharing a Bed, Strangers to Lovers, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, and just in flashbacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25740082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrynyu/pseuds/starrynyu
Summary: Boarding school, moonlight, photography and crushes(or the one where junew are friends and then they're more)
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Lee Juyeon, Kim Sunwoo/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30





	I need you now, but I don't know you yet

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this instead of my Hogwarts Au because fuck JKR. it has the boarding school part without the magic part but one has to make some sacrifices for one's morals. 
> 
> i wrote like 2k of this with another ship in mind but it screamed junew so i changed it because i'm junew trash.
> 
> i've never been to boarding school and it shows but let's ignore that, all my years of Hogwarts aus better help me this once. 
> 
> they're whipped for each other and this is fluffy. friendship is important and sunmoon needs more love.
> 
> thanks to [momochannie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/momochannie) for helping me make sense of this mess and for correcting some of my inappropriate use of prepositions because it's been 13 years and my english still sucks ass, ily sarah 
> 
> okay, let's go

The starry night outside mocked them from behind the window bars and Chanhee puffed air out off his lungs. Kevin, Changmin and Sunwoo were sat to his right, trying you make him choke to death, apparently.

“Do you really have to smoke in here where I have no escape?”

His best friend kicked his foot. “Where do you want us to do it? Outside? ‘Oh, hey Mr. Kim, no, we’re just having a lil cig out here’.”

With an eye roll, he ignored the other, going back to the sky. The moon was huge and he would love nothing more than to be able to go back to the patio and take some pictures.

But no, he was trapped here, behind bars, surrounded by carcinogenic smoke and three assholes.

Kevin nuzzled his shoulder and he almost cried because his friend smelled amazing most of the time but then, it was disgusting. “Sorry.”

There was no way of staying mad with those pouty eyes and Chanhee smiled his way, getting up and throwing his weight on his own bed. Not really done sulking, he unlocked his phone.

**Chanhee:** Yeonnie, can I escape to yours? _Pleasepleasepleeeeease_

**Sangyeon:** Are those assholes smoking again? I’m this () close to killing them. Also, Jae says: just ask to be moved to Haknyeon’s room ffs. His words, not mine

**Chanhee:** If only I could… For some strange reason, I do love them. Maybe next year we’ll finally get a more tolerable roommate *fingers crossed*

So, with a groan, the black haired pulled his body back up, feeling stupid for laying on the first place.

Changmin was telling some idiotic, and most likely fabricated, story about something nonsensical him, Eric and Hyunjoon had gotten up to, winning laughs from the other two.

No one was looking at him so he shouted a small _‘see ya’_ before opening the door and climbing one floor of stairs to his older friends’ room.

Sangyeon was laying on his bed, reading a book, Jaehyun on his lap playing with his switch and Younghoon on the desk, doing what appeared to be homework.

“I’m swear I’m not even going to make it to 20,” he sighed, dropping his weight again, this time on one of their beds. Their room only had four instead of five like his, but one of them was empty, just like at his.

Younghoon looked up, moving his blonde locks away from his eyes. “I thought you were already 50.”

He avoided his own pillow by pure luck, laughing from the low of his throat. Chanhee wasn’t **that** boring, right?

“I’m not that boring, right?”

Jaehyun smiled at him and his stomach did a small flip. “Course not, Hee, you just have fun on a different way. You don’t have to be like everyone else to be nice to be around. Look at Hoon, he’s like everyone else and it still suck to be around him,” he added the last part nonchalantly and his roommate sent the pillow back, hitting Sangyeon’s book.

The later didn’t even look up, reading like nothing was happening but still said “you’re great, Chanhee, those idiots are way too teenagers for their own good.”

A little grin grew on his lips. He loved his roommates a lot and he enjoyed being with them (most of the time) but he was, indeed, a little particular when it came to what he considered a fun time. Maybe that was one of the reason why he clicked with the older side of their group a little better than the others.

He gestured for a controller from Jaehyun and his friend smirked, moving his sight towards the tv. Their eyes started shining and Sangyeon said _‘not again’_ before they even mouthed a single word.

Less than hour later, the four of them had been joined by Chanhee’s three roommates on a Just Dance Tournament.

Right then it was Sunwoo and Jaehyun against Younghoon and Kevin and things were looking rough for the latter two.

The black haired was sitting on the oldest’s bed while he himself back hugging him. They were both laughing at their friends’ rendition of Toxic, surprisingly to no one, one of the hardest dances.

This was his definition of fun, having a nice time with his friends, not doing anything out of the ordinary and, if all of them were conscious, even better. When he won, his best friend jumped on top of the both him and Sangyeon, probably breaking the bed a tiny bit more. All the other guys on the school thought the wrecked frames were a consequence of sex when, in reality, they all just jumped on them a bit too much for big teenagers.

Sunwoo spanked his boyfriend’s ass with a bitter look and a genuine smile. Kevin threw a kick backwards, missing the other boy but almost knocking Changmin to the floor. Jaehyun grabbed the younger’s leg with one hand and his own hips with the other, trying to stop the chaos. Chanhee sighed, he was ethereal.

Thankfully, it was Kevin who caught him staring and gave him a pity look, instead of Sunwoo with one of his annoyed one. Both of them had started dating a month before summer break last year and everyone had been less than surprised, really wondering what had taking them so long. They still bickered a lot and the younger was mean (like he always was) from time to time but Kevin, after years of friendship and always a little something more, had learned to talk to him, to calm him down and, probably, scold him on his very Kev-way.

Chanhee was happy for them, of course he was, even if two of his three best friends dating each other was a bit awkward sometimes (most of those times were the nights he was awoken by moans and whimpers he **really** didn’t need to hear). The actually negative part of it was that, since then, his best friend had started his whole _‘asked Lee Jaehyun out once and for all or simply forget about him, Choi Chanhee, your pitiful act is annoying me’_ attitude. So he had been considering it but Sunwoo wasn’t the type of person that understood the idea of **time and patience,** proven by the fact he shot his best friend annoyed looks every time he caught him even staring at Jaehyun’s direction.

He, of course, was scared of rejection but Kevin had pointed out that, honestly, what was the worse that could happen? If Jae wasn’t interested, he’ll let Chanhee know gently and they will keep being friends and, of course, he was right. The black haired wasn’t keen on being turned down (who was?), but he had decided that afternoon he preferred knowing if he had a chance than being left on the dark.

So, when Sunwoo dragged Changmin to a one vs one, Chanhee grabbed the older’s shoulder, nodding towards the door. His friend nodded back, still smiling, and followed him outside.

He was wearing a pair of dark jeans that probably costed more than the entire bedroom they had just left and one of Sangyeon’s sweaters. He looked cute and almost magical and the younger sighed, _now or never, Hee._

“Hey,” he muttered.

Jaehyun chuckled. “Hey.”

“So, well,” he stopped, realising he had not prepared any of this and had no clue what to say. “I’m, yeah… I was wondering if you, you k—know, you…” oh God, he was really stuttering. “Iwaswonderingifyou’dliketogooutwithmesometime.”

His friend made a weird expression, probably trying to figure out at least one word of the mess Chanhee had just threw up. His brows joined and he inhaled, pouting. “Hee, I have no clue what you just said.”

He reminded himself to breath. Then, “I asked you out.”

The silence told the younger all he needed to know but his friend, face filled with pity, still answered. “I’m sorry Hee, you’re one of my closest friends and I really like you but I—” he passed a hand over his neck. “I don’t like boys.”

Well, he guessed that was better than _I don’t like you_ so he tried his best to not crumble. He’d been so worried about being reciprocated that he didn’t even considered for a second that his friend may be straight. It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it will, but it still hurt.

He nodded. “Well, at least I tried,” and in an attempt to brush it off (so it was less uncomfortable for both of them), he shrugged. “Could had been worse.”

Jaehyun's mouth opened and then closed without a wold, nodding and fake smiling. They stud like that for a second and the black haired remembered that **this** was exactly why he was so afraid of asking; the awkwardness, the unnatural silences, ruining their group’s dynamics for, at least, a while. Not incredibly eager about going back inside and having to drag it for longer, he faked his own smile.

“Yeah, I’m going to go back to my room and finish my lit homework, thanks for listening to me,” and he turned on his heels, disappearing before hearing his friend’s protest.

Maybe the world didn’t hate him thatmuch because he didn’t fall all the way down the stairs, just sprinted, reaching his room in one piece. Closing the door fast, in case Jae or, worse, some of his friends followed him, he rested his back against it, closing his eyes and sliding all the way until he’s sat down. His eyes finally started getting teary and he thought that maybe crying it out right now, when he was alone, was better than later, when his roommates were back.

There was a fake cough that made him look back up. He pressed his palms against his eyes a few times because there was no way what he was seeing was real.

“Hi,” okay, if he was hallucinating, it was way too weird for it to talk, right?

“Hi,” he answered back, having flashbacks to the conversation that had just taken place a few meters above. Where his friends pranking him? Because it was the last think he needed right now.

His eyes moved in the direction the stranger was sitting in, catching cases and bags next to the empty bed on the left of his. What?

Hot stranger passed a hand through his brown locks, looking incredibly uncomfortable. _Bad lucky, buddy,_ Chanhee thought, _I’m the one who just got rejected by one of my closest friends, I think I win the awkward price._

They stared at each other for what seemed forever before the black haired walked closer, dropping on his bed once more, realising he should have just stayed put the first time he’d done so and none of this would've happened. “Are you new?” he had little energy to be having this conversation but he wasn’t an ass.

“Oh, yeah,” hot stranger said, sitting on (his?) the other bed, intertwining his fingers and not looking over at Chanhee. “I’m Juyeon.”

A nod. “Nice to meet you,” he tried to smile sincerely but he wasn’t sure it worked. “I’m Chanhee but everyone just calls me Hee, and this is my bed,” he pointed at himself or, well, at the mattress bellow himself, and then moved his arm to his right. “That’s Sunwoo’s,, Kevin’s and the last one is Changmin’s.”

The newcomer seemed to be taking mental notes of everything Chanhee was saying, blinking a lot and nodding just as much. He was wearing round glasses and the other boy wondered if he was a hipster or actually just blind. He kept the question to himself.

“They are upstairs on one of our other friends’ room but I’m sure they will be here in not long, their neighbours are going to start complaining in no time,” he didn’t want to remember in which room they were so he stared at Juyeon intensely. “If you hear weird noises at night, do what you do, do **not** , and I repeat, do **not** move off your bed, just scream either Kevin or Sunwoo’s name and one, or both, of them will get way too embarrassed and, hopefully, shut the hell up.”

His eyes opened like marbles. “Are they… together?”

“Yeah,” the black haired answered before the conversation from before replayed on his head. _Stop assuming everyone is gay, Choi Chanhee._ Sitting up, he tried his best to look intimidating. He was sure he failed. “Is that a problem?”

Noticing how it must had sounded, glasses boy shock his head eagerly. “Of course not! I’m just surprised you said it like that, you know, people usually are way more reserved when they discuss homosexual relationship with strangers because, you know, you are never sure how they’re going to react and well, some people are scared? And I don’t blame them, it’s a difficult topic to bring up and it’s hard if it goes wrong, you know?” Chanhee’s expression turned to amusement with the other’s very fast talk, making him look back down at his hand. “I’m gay,”

A real laugh escapes his mouth then and he was as shocked as Juyeon looked because the last thing he thought he was going to be doing tonight was laughing. His still wet eyes betrayed him and he teared up a little, but from the giggles instead of shame and sadness, and, just a few second in, Juyeon followed, apparently incapable of not being infected by his new roommate’s burst.

“Oh well, I’m gay too so you’re in luck, not bad reaction for me,” he affirmed when he had enough air on his lungs to speak.

Again, the other’s eyes grew bigger. “Really?”

Chanhee chuckled again. “Oh, yeah, really gay. Gay and rejected, the most iconic duo,” the words were out of his mouth before he could even think about them and he sighed right after.

Juyeon’s delight disappeared to be replaced by pity and Chanhee was really done with being stared like that tonight, but he didn’t say anything about it. “Sorry.”

The black haired shock his head. “You weren’t the one saying no, don’t worry. Either way, it wasn’t and _‘I don’t like you’_ as much as an _‘I don’t like any boy’_ so, could have been worse.”

Saying it out loud made him noticed that, either way, it ended up on the same conclusion: Jaehyun didn’t like him. He inhaled again, looking up.

“I don’t mean to pry but, well, I’ve been there so I understand,” he kicked Chanhee’sshoe like Sunwoo had earlier and he smiled, it was a nice way of comforting him even though they didn’t know anything more than each other’s name and sexuality. “But hey, at least he didn’t punch you!”

That made the black haired laugh again and he was thankful his new roommate was a funny guy and not an ass. He’d made him feel actual glee when all he wanted to do was crawl into a ball and sob his eyes out. Then, he kicked back. “Thanks.”

Juyeon shot him a last smile.

Later, while the two of them were tugged into bed, their roommates still lost to the world, Chanhee realised the brunette’s right eye looked a little swollen. 

Turned out Juyeon fitted on their group like the missing piece of a puzzle. The morning after the night he decided to never talk about again, his roommates almost felt to the floor when they realised there was someone else there. Kevin got on with him better than anyone, well, maybe excluding Chanhee himself.

Juyeon was funny and cool on his own Ju-way. His sense of humour was unique but good and his jokes landed perfectly most of the times. Just a bit older than the black haired, he quickly found his place with their three roommates and also their older friends, specially Younghoon.

As a huge photography nerds, him and Chanhee would sometimes stay behind when the others were our, either showing the other their work or with the younger telling the other about the best spot on the school for little photoshoot sessions.

Eric seemed to be having a tiny, innocent crush on Juyeon, probably because he found the older cool, so that made the rest of the younger boys take interest on him as well.

On his end, Chanhee had find a type of friend he didn’t have. The brunette liked to chat and listen, discussing common and not so common interest, giving good advice and knowing with what he could joke and with what he couldn’t on a different manner to Sunwoo to even Kevin. It hadn’t taken him long to noticed the rejector was Jaehyun but he never brought the topic up unless the slightly younger boy did and, even then, he was very delicate when talking about it, probably too scared he’ll send his friend on a rampage (which wasn’t going to happen) or make him cry (which was way more viable).

The black eye had been question but Juyeon had brushed it off with a shrug and _‘just a fight at my old school’._ Chanhee, however, was pretty sure what had happened. The soft looks the newcomer gave Kevin and Sunwoo when he thought no one was paying him any mind, followed bu a shake of his head right after nothing but proved to Chanhee that he wasn’t used to openly gay couples and, most important, that the suppose joke he had made the other night had probably come from a way more personal experience than he had initially let on.

On the other end of the spectrum, Jaehyun treated both him and their friendship as if it was made of crystal and Chanhee was going insane. The sad and guilty eyes were starting to get tiresome and Sunwoo looking at the older like he wanted to ripe his head off and eat it was also unnecessary, given the fact the black haired didn’t feel that bad about it anymore.

The conversation with his roommates had been brief and Chanhee had made it clear he didn’t want the topic to be brought up ever again.

_‘I asked him out,’ he had said that morning while making his bed. Him and Juyeon shared a look before he continued. ‘He said no.’_

_The silence had been followed by a ‘what!?’ from Sunwoo, and ‘I’m so sorry’ by Kevin and a ‘who?’ by Changmin._

_Chanhee hadjust shrugged. ‘He’s straight.’_

_‘Really?’ Kevin had sounded sincerely shocked and his other best friend had shaken in anger._

_‘So, just drop it, okay?’_

_‘But,’ Changmin had said, still looking highly confused._

_‘Drop it.’_

“Hey,” Jaehyun exclaimed, his voice coming somewhere from Chanhee’s top right. They were close by the lake (which they were all convinced was haunted).

Resting his back on a tree, the black haired had an open book on his lap being unread, given the fact he was practically asleep by this point.

“Hey,” he mumble, getting back into the living’s word. Ironic how they could never start a conversation like this again without both of them remembering what had happened. The light haired took a sit by him, looking towards the pool of water.

“I’m sorry,” he didn’t need to say what he was apologising for, they knew perfectly.

Chanhee shocked his head, nuzzling his friend with his shoulder, and smiled. “It’s nothing you or I can help, Jae, or I wouldn’t have chosen to like you.”

That earned him a small giggle. “Yeah, I wouldn’t like me either.”

The younger wanted to protest, wanted to tell him that he was one of the nicest persons he knew, that he was charismatic and funny, that his smile was really beautiful and his body was, waw. Instead, he nuzzled him again. “I meant because you’re not a, how’s the outdated term, shirt-lifter?”

His friend rolled his eyes.

Staring at the lake instead of at each other, they both stayed silent for a while, only the distant mumble of voice, the water moving and the wind interrupting the silence.

Chanhee smiled. “It’ll go away, it’s okay.”

Indeed, it was starting to go away. Knowing that his friend didn’t like him back meant he, somehow, wasn’t idolising him as much anymore. His mind worked on a strange way but he wasn’t complaining.

Juyeon and him had cleaning duty that day for inappropriate comments in class (or, as they liked to say, all the jokes their Latin professor was too stupid to find funny). What kind of school made cleaning detention? This posh one.

“Is it weird?” he wondered while moving away some desks.

Glasses boy rolled his eyes before moving some as well. “Of course it’s not, Chanhee, you’re over the fairy tale state and can finally see more clearly.”

He wanted to say that, for someone who claimed to not have any exes, Juyeon knew a shit ton about relationship and romance. He had indeed told him so, once, gaining nothing but a shrug from the other, so he didn’t word it again.

The older was, of course, still a mystery to him. Two weeks where not that much time for getting to know someone and, even if he had the basic, there’s was still way too much to be discovered before being able to unravel the tangled enigma that was Lee Juyeon.

After finishing with the moving of the desks and grabbing brooms, his friend smiled and claimed “I have an idea to make the process a little faster,” which earned him a nod from Chanhee, who was looking a perfect mixture of confusion and excitement. “What if you tell me all the things you **don’t** like about him, that annoy you or, I don’t know, turn you off?”

They both chuckled and the black haired thought about it, popping himself on top of one of the tables and resting his elbow on his crossed legs and his chin on his hand. “Okay.”

Giving him thumbs up, the brunette kept sweeping the floor. Chanhee’s brain started running at full speed, trying to find things to say but all the images that flew through his brain were nice. He groaned.

“I can’t think of any,” pouting, he looked over to his new friend, who rested a finger over his lower lip.

“Let me start, maybe if I tell you some, it’ll help,” and, after a nod, he smiled. “They guy I used to like made so much noise when he ate, you’d have thought he was choking.”

That made the black haired burst into a fit of laughter, imagining Juyeon sitting across a faceless boy on a long table, looking at him with dreamy eyes while the other chewed his food with his mouth almost opened. The other chuckled as well, nodding like saying _‘yeah, it wasn’t pretty’._

“Okay, Jaehyun eats everything way to plane, I don’t even know if he puts salt on his fries. Imagine going on a date, ordering a pizza and he asks for a muzzarela!?”

His horrified look broke Juyeon, making him drop the broom and resting his hip on another table, his body shaking silently from mute laughter. “That’s— _ah God_ —that’s th—the first thing t—that came to you?” he exclaimed in between trying to breathe.

“Hey!” Chanhee said on a fake offended tone. “Food is extremely important on a relationship!! OH MY GOD,” he jumped of the table, shaking glasses boy by the shoulders. “He doesn’t like spicy food! Juyeon! I can’t go out with someone that doesn’t like spicy food!”

That sent his friend into hell, grinning and howling so much he had to use the surface behind him to stay on his feet. “I c—can’t imag—imagine,” he managed to break. “Okay, if your next boyfriend doesn’t like spicy food, I’ll eat it with you, okay?” he extended a hand on Chanhee’s direction and he took it, grinning satisfied.

For the next few days, Chanhee would tell the brunette something he thought about, either because Jaehyun did or said something he was finally able to realised he didn’t find particularly endearing or just because he thought about it out of the blue.

Juyeon always listened, nodding and giving him encouraging looks tinted with little teasing and glee. It was nice and it was definitely helping. No matter much as he had liked the older, as time moved on, Chanhee came to the conclusion there was no way to could had ever worked as a couple. While he was touchy and a big hugger, the light haired didn’t like PDA that much, not even with his closest friends, preferring to leave the cuddling for closed spaces. Their sense of humour was a bit too similar, Jaehyun spent an excessive (on the younger’s eyes) amount of time inside even on sunny days and he hated thrillers.

None of that made him less beautiful, of course, and Chanhee still lost some air every time he showed up on the school’s uniform (being that, yes, everyday) because who even could pull of that ugly ass grey blazer? but he realised all his friends were attractive and watching Younghoon on sweatpants and Haknyeon on ripped jeans had almost the same effect.

Kevin, apparently, had been assigned by his friends to check how he was doing and, honestly, it was starting to annoy him just as much as the pity looks had. The boy would sit with him, going for a normal conversation and then, suddenly, he would hug him or ask him if he was okay. He loved his best friend a lot but he was starting to feel that his heartbreak was the only reason they were spending time together anymore.

Still, nothing was worse than his other friends. Eric seemed to be giving his roommate a colder shoulder than normal and Sangyeon tried with all his might for everything to be normal, even when it was obvious both of them still needed more time.

In all, it wasgetting better, Chanhee just wished it would be doing it faster.

It was a perfect night. The moon was full again and his skin itched for being able to go out. It was just him and Juyeon in the room, resting on the latter’s bed, talking about nothing in particular.

Thankfully, his unrequited crush was no longer the main theme of their conversations. Instead, they were discussing their physics homework and how nonsensical that day’s class had been, with their teacher resembling more a corpse than and actual human, when the door slammed open.

Sunwoo wasn’t facing their direction and, even if Kevin was, his eyes were closed, his mouth on the older’s neck. The black haired groaned, _not again_. Since the brown haired had moved in, his friends had started acting a little more cautious, probably not to scare (of traumatise) the dude. To Chanhee’s misfortune, the period of safety seemed to be over.

Sharing an impressed look, the two boys already in the bedroom froze, Juyeon obviously not sure of what to do. Having lived this before, the Chanhee made his eyes small and burned his best friend’s back in an attempt of making him know they were there.

It didn’t work.

Kevin must had done something because the other moaned, deep and low, and Chanhee stud up, grabbing Juyeon’s arm.

“Aaaaand, we’re out of here,” he exclaimed, startling his friends, but ran right pass them.

They reached the common room like area on the lowest floor of their dorms in seconds, both breathless. The brunette flickered his fingers on his roommate’s forehead. “If they knew we where there, they’d have stopped.”

That made the other laugh. “You’d think,” and he rose his eyebrows.

Juyeon covered his mouth with a hand, blinking slowly.“Damn.”

As the black haired reached for the nearest armchair, his friend reversed their roles, being him the one grabbing the other’s arm this time. Shushing him with a finger on his lips, Juyeon looked around for someone else and, once it was confirmed they were alone, guided their body towards the main door. Chanhee opened his own mouth to tell him they locked it after dinner but the other stopped him, almost smacking his face on the process, shocking his head eagerly and the younger pouted.

Apparently, one of the many things he didn’t know about Lee Juyeon was his incredible ability for lock picking. It took him a second to swing the door open, moving to the side while extending his arm and bowing. Chuckling and impressed, Chanhee went through.

It was weird seeing the passages at night. There was not a single soul around, the lights were all off and the silence was intimidating. Probably sensing the other’s nervousness, the brunette placed a hand on the low of Chanhee’s back, gifting him a reassuring smile before guiding both of them forwards.

The black haired was so on edge about being caught that he didn’t realised where they we heading towards until the fresh air hit his face, making him drop his mouth open once more.

It really was way more magical than he imagined it would. The school was literally in the middle of fucking nowhere and, with all the lights off, the sky touching the lake, it felt as if they were in another world entirely.

“So?” Juyeon worded next to him. “How is it?”

The younger pressed his lips together. “Incredible.”

“Sorry you don’t have your camera, the idea came to me once we were already downstairs,” he shrugged, tiny grin on his lips.

Chanhee shocked his head, reaching for his cellphone; it wasn’t the best quality but it was descent enough.

They walked around, both snapping pictures. Juyeon gave him some tips on using his phone’s camera, helping him find better angles and how to use the little light to his advantage.

Chanhee told him his grandfather had always been really into photography and they had started sharing the love once he was old enough. Three years ago, after his passing, the black haired had inherited all of his old cameras and gotten even more into it. He confessed that, apart from a hobby, it was something that made him feel close to the old man, even now that he was gone. Juyeon had told him that he will never be gone as long as Chanhee took photos for him. They smiled at each other, eyes soft, under nothing but the moonlight.

“CHANGMIN!” Sunwoo screamed, taking both his boyfriend and Hyunjoon to keep him from jumping on top of his roommate.

The other shrugged, still blushing. “It’s not my fault you two act as if you don’t live with other three people… Next time **at least** lock the door man.”

Sangyeon placed a hand on top of the other’s shoulder, biting down his laughter. “Sorry for asking about your most uncomfortable moment. I promised that question will, from now own, come with the clause of ‘ _that has nothing to do with finding your friends fucking on the shower_.”

Kevin whimpered, letting his back hit the floor behind him. Truth of truth was a tradition and the older trio had pointed out that, since Juyeon arrived, they hadn’t had the chance to interrogate him during one. The brunette looked less than thrilled but Chanhee had squished his hand and assured him it was going to be okay and that alcohol was always involved. That didn’t seem to calm the other down, who simply swallowed before following his roommates upstairs.

It was Younghoon’s turn. The dark haired took a sip from his beer can and shot the newcomer a teasing smile. _Here it goes._ “So, Ju, tell us, how did your last relationship ended?”

Chanhee tensed but the target of the question shrugged. “I don’t really call it a relationship but with a punch and a school transfer.”

None of them talked until Haknyeon mouthed “Damn.”

Another shrug. “It’s okay, I prefer this one anyway, way less homophobic.”

Sunwoo crossed his arms behind his head. “He better never cross my path.”

Glasses boy sent him a small and soft smile. So he really had been rejected with physical violence? Now Chanhee felt stupid, sulking about his own rejection when his friend had just suffered something way worse. He eyed right but Juyeon was still smiling. He did seems brighter than when he had arrived. Not as if the brunette had ever not been nice and fun to be around, but the air that surrendered him was definitely different, way less heavy. Hyunjoon was interrogating Kevin about the bathroom incident and, unconsciously, Chanhee moved his arm being his roommate’s back, resting his hand on the floor on a pseudo hug. Juyeon’s smile turned into a grin.

The questions weren’t really that important, as they knew almost everything about each other and none of them wanted to make the newbie feel awkward or sad, avoiding questions that had to do with boyfriends and his old school. The black haired shared the feeling and was glad the topic had been dropped but, at the same time, the intrigue was killing him. Who had this guy been? What did his friend meant by ‘ _not exactly a relationship_ ’? Had it been a very hard homophobic thing? How long had they been together? How much had they done? Was Juyeon still hurting?

However, when it was his turn for questioning, not that proud of himself and his a bit tipsy state, he chose Jaehyun. Now, the brunette was the one getting real tense. He rolled his eyes.

The older looked scared and he wonder what did he think he was about to ask. “When was the last time you kissed someone?”

It was then when everything stopped. The air. The time. The world. Jaehyun’s mouth trembled and his eyes moved over to Eric for less than a second, but the younger got it. It didn’t hurt, not really, he had gotten over his crush a while ago, but he was angry.

He left out an ironic and breathy laugher and the other two understood he had gotten it, he had seen. Juyeon frowned and Sunwoo, way drunker than him, scratched his temple, trying to process if he should get mad. Oh, he should.

“Two month ago,” the older mumble and Chanhee bit his own tongue, waiting to be a little less annoyed to speak.

“Really?” Hyunjoon opened his mouth, probably to remind him he only had one chance when Chanhee’s stare shut him out. “Tell me, did you kiss Eric the same day you told me you couldn't go out with me because you didn’t like dick?” He stud up quickly and realised he had more alcohol on his blood than he first thought, stumbling lightly.

The other boys gasped, Sunwoo getting up as well to start throwing punches and Sangyeon eyed his best friend with disappointment. _Take that, asshole_ , there was nothing more painful than that.

“Hee, listen,” Eric was on his feet, as well as Haknyeon and Juyeon, trying to restrict Sunwoo. “He was confused about it and asked me if I could do it so he could be sure. Of course, I told him to just ask you but Jae said he didn’t want to use your crush on him to experiment and see if he really just likes girls, which he didn’t seemed to be so sure about anymore.”

Swallowing, Chanhee stared at his friend, his light locks covering his beautiful features and he felt nothing when the statement that he wasn’t, probably, 100% straight came. He exhaled, the thought of being lied to still making him infuriated but he sat back down.

“Okay,” he exclaimed, finding himself closer to Juyeon’s warmth. “Be grateful, I’m was this close to cutting your fucking cock off,” alcohol made him swear a lot.

Jaehyun nodded, still looking particularly guilty and ashamed and if Chanhee wasn’t 17 and drunk, he would have felt bad about the whole thing.

Of course, the mood was ruined by their little fight so not that much long after they were all going back to their rooms. None of his roommates tried to chat it up with him and he was grateful, he didn’t need that right now. Still, while lying on his bed on nothing but his boxers, his way less intoxicated brain, after some good amount of water and peeing, reminded him to stop being so self centred. As silent as he could, he slid into Juyeon’s bed. His friend shot him an amused look but sat up, resting his back on the wall. He was also only on his boxers and it was the first time Chanhee saw him with so little on.

“Wanna play with me?” he mumbled and, of course, the brunette rolled his eyes at the unintentional innuendo. Chanhee looked at him with annoyed eyes.

“Sure, if you let me start,” the black haired nodded. “Do you still like him?”

“No, I don’t,” and he was sure his friend knew he meant it. “His realisation is two months too late to be of any use to me,” he shallowed. “Why did he hit you?” Juyeon inhaled heavily then and the other immediately regretted asking. “No, never mind, this was stupid, I’m going to let you sleep.”

“Because I talked to him in public.”

On that moment, Chanhee felt so much rage towards this guy his teeth almost broke. He’d grown to care about the other boy deeply and the thought of someone making him feel bad about himself was heart-wrenching. The hug startled the brunette but he didn’t stay still for long, reciprocating just a few moments later.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled on the older’s neck, feeling his laughter more than hearing it.

“It wasn’t your fault, you’ve only made me feel better with myself since I arrived,” they didn’t exactly unhugged, just slid a bit lower, with Chanhee’s head resting on the other’s chest. “He came to me, I guess he noticed how much I kept staring at him all the time. It’s so stupid, you know, he was your typical tall, handsome and popular jock,” he started passing his fingers through the other’s black locks. “We weren’t friends but we were friends with each other’s friends, practically on the same group. I’d crushed on him for a few months before that night.

“It was a house party, I don’t even remember whose, and I left early. It wasn’t that far from mine so I decide to walk, it was a nice night, pretty warm and with lots of natural light from the sky, you’d have loved it. He told me he lived that direction too and we just moved along, talking about nothing in particular. I remember making him laugh and feeling great about myself but I guess he was just trying to appeal to me. Whatever, we reached the park and he grabbed my hand, making me turn on my heels. He was so close and smelled so nice. I blink Hee, **blinked,** and he had his tongue down my throat,” his lip curved up, probably because he still considered that memory a nice one. “It was crazy and when he moved away I blinked again, looking his direction. He chuckled and you know what he said? ‘ _Caught you drooling over my ass_ ’. Then, I bursted, a mixture of embarrassment and glee.

“So we started seeing each other every other day, his house, mine, nowhere public. I assumed he wasn’t ready to come out and I respected that, everyone has their own time. I wasn’t sure I was ready either. Still, he didn’t even talked to me at school, even less than we used to before, and it hurt a little. We were having pretty much a physical relationship so I didn’t think much of it at that time, wish it had stayed like that.”

He shuddered and Chanhee tightened his grip around the other’s body, pretty sure he knew how this story ended.

“Turns out, he wasn’t scared of coming out, he was **terrified**. I don’t know how, probably because he was drunk, he told me his friend wouldn’t accept him and I nodded, knowing mine wouldn’t either. So, just like that, we kept doing whatever shit we had going on. To this day, I don’t know how it happened but some guys found out I was gay and I freaked the fuck out. The bullying wan’t as bad as I though but most of my male friends entirely ditched me. On a rampage, I accused him of telling one afternoon on his house and he looked genuinely hurt, telling me that of course he would never do something like that, that he liked me and, even if he didn’t, it would be like throwing himself under the bus.”

There was a pause and another deep squish.

“Turns out he was still talking shit about me being gay with everyone else, making the already tiny bit of open conversation we had disappear. I was lonely and hurting so, one day, after some pretty awful insults, I walked over to his locker, asking for a few words. His stupid friends teased him about it, implying we had the exact relationship we had and I guessed he panicked, because before I could say the excused I had came up with, his fist was on my face.”

There were rage tears on Chanhee’s eyes but he wasn’t going to cry, it was the last thing Juyeon needed right there. He understood how being a stupid teenager could affect once ability to think sometimes but that had been just too much. The body beneath him shrugged.

“We got detention and I used all the screaming with my parents as the chance to come out. It wasn’t ideal but they had no problem with it, stopping the screaming and making me explain to them what had really happened. Of course, I left quite a lot of stuff out but they agreed for me to change school immediately. My cousin assisted here not that long ago so, as family, I had no problem getting in.”

Chanhee hugged him so hard the older chocked before giggling. It sucked, homophobia sucked, teenagers sucked, asshole sucked. “I know this is useless, but I am really sorry.”

He shook his head. “You lot made me feel accepted and happy with who I am, there are no better friends than that. And you’re amazing, Hee, so thank you.”

The nickname gave him an enjoyable warmth on his stomach. “Of course, you’re fucking awesome.”

The brunette kept stocking Chanhee’s hair until they both felt asleep comfortably, only awoke by Changmin’s innocent teasing, their other two roommates way too hangovered to joke.

Exam season was overwhelming but, thankfully for al the fifth years, Juyeon was an amazing teacher. He helped all of them with their weakest subjects and, most important, speared them of Devil!Support Jaehyun, who taught by screaming and banging tables; it was effective but didn’t help with their already stressed states.

Even Haknyeon started hanging out on their room to get classes from glasses boy, something utterly unheard of. The two of them got along pretty well and, surprisingly, the shorter boy took the other’s corrections and tips to heart.

It was to nobody’s surprised (except for the teachers, probably) that they all passes with quite good marks, including Eric, whose crush had disappeared and was now able to talk to the older without stuttering.

The heat was becoming worse and all of them, including Chanhee, spent way less time outside. Their bedroom had become their headquarters thanks to studying and had stayed like that even after, with all of them hanging out there. Chanhee and Jaehyun were entirely back to normal and all their friends were more than pleased about it, still not bringing up what had happened in case it detonated something. Apparently, Sangyeon had given the light haired quite the scolding, because he had apologised to his friends the next day, stating that he should had told him exactly what happened and they could had talked it out on better circumstances. Chanhee had apologised as well, stating that it was something between the both of them (and Eric) and he shouldn’t have handled it the badly, not to mention unknowingly outing his indecisiveness. They hugged it out and the whole fiasco was forgiven.

The Just Dance tournament was taking place on their room, of course, and Sunwoo x Changmin was the most deathly convo known to men, kicking everyone’s ass. Him and Juyeon had lost miserably but had fun anyway.

Now, they laid on the brunette’s bed, with him curled up on Chanhee’s lap, both laughing so hard they almost felt down a few times. It was nice and dumb on the best way.

They were, thankfully, not drinking that night, so all the dancing was soberly funny and nothing had been broken, beds included.

The tv was blasting so loud that people from other rooms showed up from time to time to have a go against the golden couple, some of them getting a little closer but nobody able to take their crown.

When Sunwoo demanded for Juyeon, the other stud up reluctantly, giving Chanhee a pout the younger smiled at, faking obliviousness, wanting to see his friend dance. The pout was replace with an annoyed looked that stated ‘ _I’m going to kill you later’_ but he moved towards the tv soon after.

Kevin replaced the brunette and sat on Chanhee’s lap sideways, staring at his friend with a small smile. The dark haired hugged him tightly, resting his nose on the other’s neck and sniffing. He giggled.

“You always do that.”

“It’s because you smell heavenly when you are not infected by disgusting smoke.”

That made him giggle again, resting his cheek on the older’s head. He’d always liked Kevin a lot, he was messy and loud but he was also caring, loving and a good listener.

“So, how have you been doing lately?” it came from a real genuine place this timenot from the fake ‘ _I was asked to keep tabs on you’,_ and the black haired smiled.

“Pretty good, actually,” he nuzzled his nose, gaining more giggles. “I feel the happiest I have all year, actually.”

Staring at each other’s eyes, the younger understood. “Well, I love seeing you happy.”

Chanhee squished him.

It was raining and Juyeon and him were trapped beneath a random roof, a building away from their next class. The brunette was back-hugging him, resting his chin on his shoulder blade.

“I can’t believe this, my haaaaair,” he pouted, making his friend laugh.

“You look good no matter how wet your hair is, Hee,” he started nonchalant, making the other shake his head.

“Thanks but I prefer it dry.”

Deciding to ditch the class all together (not their fault their school was built like crap), they sat close enough to the archways they could hear the rain but not close enough they got wet.

Their backs rested against a wall, their feet intertwined.

“I hate geography,” glasses boy started. “It’s fucking awful.”

Chanhee nodded enthusiastically. “So fucking awful.”

That earned him a soft smile and they stayed like that for a while, not really talking. He pulled out his phone, snatching a few pictured of the other before he noticed, stole the cell and attacked him back.

“You look way better than I do on them anyways.”

“Shut up,” the black haired flicked his fingers on the other’s neck. “Lying is bad for your skin.”

They chuckled and chatted all the way towards their history class, strategically avoiding their geography teacher.

The rain changed into small drops by the time the boys took a sit on their tables. Chanhee grabbed his phone, shaking his head with a smile on his lips, closed the camera app and try to focus on the whiteboard and woman in front of him. It didn’t work that well and he found himself starring at his friend over and over again, both pair of eyes sharing countless silent conversations. At some point, Juyeon rolled his, making the black haired choke down a laugh and earn himself quite an ugly stare from the class authority. He struck his tongue out on Juyeon's direction, but the later did nothing but shrug, faking innocence.

80 eternal minutes later, both of them, joined by Changmin, walked down towards the cafeteria. It looked more like the dinning room of an old castle (which they were in) than a school cafeteria but Chanhee had stopped questioning the school 4 and a half years ago.

Their roommates where all sat where they always were and the tall boy dropped his weight next to his best friend, who nodded towards him to acknowledge his presence. The other two sat in front of him and next to Sunwoo, who was midway into a pizza slice.

They were talking about nothing in particular when Hyunjoon dropped next to Changmin, looking so annoyed Chanhee was scared to even ask.

The younger puffed air of his cheeks and grabbed the food in front of him without even looking what he was putting on his plate. Kevin, next to his boyfriend, threw him a concerned stare before asking “Are you okay, Joonie?”

“No,” he left the plate there, untouched, and sighed. “My mum just called, she wants all of us on the cabin next week. I told her Haknyeon, Eric and I made plans to spend it on Ric’s beach house but she refused to hear me. So now, two months of planning down the drain and I’m force to coexist with my family for a whole fucking week, isn’t that great?” the bitterness on his voice was palpable on the air and Changmin passed his arm over the other’s shoulders, offering comfort. Hyunjoon sighed again. “Why is she like this?”

None of them had an answer for that and he knew it, so before even a few seconds went by, he devoted his full attention to his mess of a meal, not looking up for a while. Juyeon shot him a pitiful look but then turned it into questioning towards his roommate. Chanhee shook his head, meaning _later_. His roommate went back to his own lunch.

The rest of the hour long break was filled with almost complete silence, as none of them wanted to say anything in case it upset their friend.

Thankfully, both him and Juyeon had no more classes that day so, with a small goodbye, they took the path up to their bedroom.

They were barely outside the room when Chanhee started explaining. “Two weeks from now is our week off, we have one per quarter to go back home and shit, I totally forgot to mention that but I guess the teachers told you,” he nodded to an upper-classmate. “Joon’s family is… complicated. That’s the main reason he’s here and, if he could never see them again, I’m sure he would.”

“That sucks,” Juyeon muttered. None of them said anything until reaching their room and dropping on Chanhee’s bed. “Are you leaving?”

The black haired shook his had. “My dad has a conference in Bali so there’s no case on going back if they’re not going to be there. What about you?”

He thought about it for a second. “I don’t feel ready to go back there yet,” his voice was high enough for his friend to be able to get it. Without saying anything, he moved sideways and his roommate understood, dropping his head on the other’s chest.

“We’ll have the room for ourselves then. Kevin and Sunwoo are going to France with Kev’s family and Min is going with Yeon to Colombia.”

The brunette laughed. “Silence.”

Chanhee giggled back. “Finally.”

When their roommates came back, they found them still on the younger’s bed. Juyeon was reading a book while the bed owner played with his phone. None of the remaining three mouthed anything but Kevin and Sunwoo shared a very happy smile.

Chanhee opened his eyes slowly, wondering how long had it been since he had closed them. Juyeon’s brown hair shined strangely thanks to the moonlight and it took him a second too long to understand he wasn’t still dreaming. As he sat down, he realised his friend was wearing shoes and a soft smile. He returned the smile before putting something on his feet too.

No word was said all the way down and even less when Chanhee found himself staring at the full moon and stars with his friend handling him his camera. His phone indicated 1.20 am and he didn’t go and sit next to Juyeon until 2.13. He was beaming, pretty sure actual ray of light came out of his skin. His roommate chuckled at his stupidly huge smile.

His black head rested on the other’s left shoulder and nothing was said yet. Maybe talking would break the magic that seemed to be happening.

Juyeon’s eyes were also shining, the moon’s reflecting on them, and Chanhee was suddenly breathless, his mind running way to fast to be normal, remembering and pinpointing specific moments, considering how fast or how slow he was being.

His friend rested his own brown locks on top of his and he breathed in a few times before moving. Juyeon tilted his head sideways, moving his stare on his direction. He was also smiling brightly.

His lips were a little dry and Chanhee could feel the tiny last breath he took on his own. It was short and just as magical as the hour prior had felt. The smile grew even bigger on the brunette’s mouth and he could feel that on his lips too.

Juyeon moved away just a little so their eyes could meet. “I wasn’t sure if I should do it.”

“I just went for it,” his voice was low and breathless. “Hope it was the right call.”

The other chuckled. “What do you think?”

Chanhee thought about it but his friend shook his head, smile still huge, and pressed their lips together once more.

This time, they were both expecting it so it was a little less messy and a lot less shy. The older’s warm hand travelled to Chanhee’s cheek and his own found its way to his roommate’s locks, feeling how soft his hair was.

Chanhee didn’t know how long they were out there but it felt like forever and not enough by the time Juyeon stud up and extended his hand at him. They walked back like they had done a million times on the last 3 months but it felt way too different and Chanhee definitely preferred this one, with their hand still linked and their bodies really close.

With a peak, the brunette disappeared back to his bed and he dropped on his, unable to stop smiling even on his dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for taking the time to read whatever this is, chapter 2 coming sometime in the future when i can finish it lol, comments and kudos are very much appreciated 
> 
> here's my [tw](https://twitter.com/starrynyu), i'm nice and i like to scream about the boyz


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